


if i woke up next to you

by kanrojinx



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, FOOTBALL!!, M/M, drama junsang, exes junsang, kinda sad, we need a junsang selca
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-03 21:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanrojinx/pseuds/kanrojinx
Summary: it's all in eunsang's mind.





	if i woke up next to you

**Author's Note:**

> congratulations to x1's 4th win with flash! uwu.
> 
> ➳ inspired by fall out boy's me & you.  
➳ lowercase intended.

junho and eunsang broke up months ago, but neither of them had the heart to move on and forget about each other. neither of them aren't even sure if they're already ready to forgive. to put it simply, junho is still hung up over eunsang and vice versa. it was a string they couldn't cut. each and every memory is lingering on their minds. maybe eunsang is still thinking of how junho's lips felt against his nose, his eyelids, his forehead, his cheeks, his neck, and on his lips. maybe junho is still waiting for eunsang to whisper his name full of love and adoration as if the world was theirs. as if everything around them was theirs to claim. because they loved the world where there was only cha junho and lee eunsang together against all odds, they felt empty.

and hoping.

and hoping.

they both go on with their days, trying not to remember everything they do together - even if it's impossible for the both of them. they learned to love each other with the simplest things they grew with, and being away from each other ached so bad for them. eunsang was home for junho; junho was home for eunsang. no one could even come close. no one would. no one could. eunsang stared at the town view from his wide bedroom window. it felt lonely and all too familiar that it almost hurts. he could hear junho saying "babi, the town's extra fun and lively tonight," and he would always reply with "it's better especially when i'm with you," and will give him a soft kiss on the forehead. it was cheesy, maybe. but eunsang can't stop smiling when he remembers that.

but then when he glance to the empty spot beside him, his smile just falters.

a lot happened in the span of a few months. their close friends, yunseong and donghyun, started dating. it was the talk of the university. it - somehow - managed to turn the attention away from junho and eunsang's breakup. the people let the incident pass by, and they didn't want to explain anyway. they used it to their advantage and tried. . . to be okay.

but what, exactly, happened?

_it was a happy evening. the streets are lively, junho had a wonderful day at the university, and the day couldn't get any better for him. but not until a bomb dropped and the all too perfect day of junho was terribly ruined. no one's day could be perfect - something has to ruin it. and on his case, he never had a great day ever since._

_"babi, i'm sorry," eunsang whispered as they were walking home. junho glanced at him with a worried gaze and cupped his cheeks. he asked, "what happened, babi? are you okay? if it's about not being on our lunch today, it's fine! keumkeum and yunseong were there so i didn't feel lonely -"_

_"let's break up."_

_junho didn't want to believe what he was hearing. it was something he never imagined he'd hear in his life, ever. they were the perfect pieces for each other's puzzles. they complete each other. without the other one, they're lost in the wide sea, drowning, screaming for help - but no one is listening. it feels empty. wrong. but what was he hearing at that exact moment? he didn't want to believe anything. "haha, what do you mean? don't joke around, eunsang. please. let's just go and eat dinner," junho said, grabbing eunsang's hand but he didn't budge. he just stared at eunsang's head faced to the ground until he felt his cheeks get wetter and wetter._

_"w-why?" junho asked with a shaky voice._

_"you... gave up your dream for me. i heard everything. you rejected the offer to be a football varsity in a prestigious university in seoul. that is your spotlight. your peak. why would you give that up for me? junho, you can't do that."_

_"is that it? babi, i can go back. please. don't say anything like this again."_

_"listen to me," eunsang said, holding both of junho's hand, causing the other one to face him. "i don't want to be that person for you. this isn't right. if you're already putting me above your dream, this can't go on. i don't ever want to be that kind of person for you."_

_junho's sobs became louder and louder until it was the only thing that could be heard in the road. he felt so shattered, and eunsang felt the same. just seeing junho cry crashed his heart into a million pieces._

_junho slowly loosened his grip from eunsang's hands and ran away to his usual place - the football field. there, he lied down, and cried his heart out. the only reason he gave up the offer was because at that point, eunsang was his only dream, his only destination and losing eunsang felt like he's lost and meaningless._

eunsang took a last sip from his evening tea and decided to go to their university's football field. junho's leaving for seoul tomorrow morning, according to yunseong, and might never go back to this place in busan. he's going to be there forever, and would only go back occasionally for vacations and it's okay. or at least he's trying to convince himself that it's okay, somehow.

he sat in the middle of the field, lost in thought. this place will be his last memory of junho, and he can feel his warmth everywhere. this is a place junho treasured so bad. a place junho made his dream grow and bloom like a rose. and eunsang was with him as he did.

eunsang's eyes widened when a pair of arms was wrapped around him - but he wasn't scared. it was warm. it was familiar. it was the warmth he needed, the warmth he missed so bad in so long. "let me do this, please," junho breathed. and eunsang badly wanted to say '_please do it and never let me go._' but everything was his choice. he's the one who'd suffer.

"you're leaving tomorrow?"

"mhm."

silence. they both sat in comfortable silence and just stared at the stars like they always used to do. "this will be the last time we're seeing each other, eunsang," junho whispered. he tightened his embrace and whispered again, "if you tell me to stay, i will. please. i miss you so damn much and it's shattering me completely."

"i will support your way to the top, cha junho. you will be a famous football player. everyone will look up to you - and i'll watch all of that happen. maybe i will just be a small part of your past that molded you into what you are today. maybe someday, someone will fix your shattered parts. maybe."

"can it please be you?"

junho loosened his embrace, causing eunsang to look around and when he did, junho pressed a soft kiss on his lips just like how eunsang liked it. it was full of emotions this time. happiness, sadness, longing - everything he could feel just for one person. he pressed their foreheads together, and with a soft smile, junho said, "i'll be waiting forever until you're beside me again."

_please do_, eunsang thought.

**Author's Note:**

> come scream about junsang with me at [twitter](https://twitter.com/ctrlmogu) and [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/moguchin)! ♡


End file.
